Today Dude shares with us his knowledge concerning the trimming of toenails. The trimming, Dremeling or cutting of a dog’s toenails is considered a traumatic and dramatic occurrence in many canine households. Many dogs have shrewdly learned to run like the wind at the mere glimpse pot the clippers emerging from their hiding place. The sound of a Dremel is the signal to hide in the deepest, darkest recesses of the basement.
The Dude has conquered this entire tram by allowing a team of virgin fairies to gently buff his nails as he sleeps. Each and every night the fey arrive and sing to Dude a song of relaxation and whisper gentle affirmations of how fascinating he is (not that he needs any affirmations from others, he allows them to do so merely to pay their own form of homage).
The gentle trimming of his nails is accomplished by the fey rubbing each toenail against their lips. Their gentle kisses sand the slightest layer of toenail each day, negating the need for any unpleasantness.
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